Justin Trudeau Honours Wolverine with The Order of Canada Medal

On his current trip to British Columbia Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau presented Wolverine with Canada’a highest achievement award, the Order of Canada Medal. Trudeau thanked Wolverine for his service to the country and the western world. More specifically, the PM thanked him for his crusade battling evil mutants, communists, Islamic extremists and deranged rogue superheroes.

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Wolverine was born James Howlett in northern Alberta, Canada, during the late 1880s, purportedly to rich farm owners John and Elizabeth Howlett, though he is actually the illegitimate son of the Howletts’ groundskeeper, Thomas Logan. After Thomas is thrown off the Howletts’ property for an attempted rape perpetrated by his other son, named simply Dog, he returns to the Howlett manor and kills John Howlett. In retaliation, young James kills Thomas with bone claws that emerge from the back of his hands, as his mutation manifests. He flees with his childhood companion, Rose, and grows into manhood on a mining colony in the Yukon, adopting the name “Logan”.
When Logan accidentally kills Rose with his claws, he flees the colony and lives in the wilderness among wolves, until he is captured and placed in a circus. Saul Creed, brother of Victor Creed, frees Logan, but after he betrays Logan and Clara Creed to Nathaniel Essex, Logan drowns Creed in Essex’s potion. Logan returns to civilization, residing with the Blackfoot people. Following the death of his Blackfoot lover, Silver Fox, at the hands of Victor Creed, now known as Sabretooth, he is ushered into the Canadian military during World War I. Logan spends time in Madripoor before settling in Japan, where he marries Itsu and has a son, Daken. Logan is unaware of his son for many years.

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During World War II, Logan teams up with Captain America and continues a career as a mercenary. He serves with the 1st Canadian Parachute Battalion during D-Day, and later with the CIA before being recruited by Team X, a black ops unit.
As a member of Team X, Logan is given false memory implants. Eventually breaking free of this mental control, he joins the Canadian Defence Ministry. Logan is subsequently kidnapped by the Weapon X program, where he remains captive and experimented on, until he escapes. It is during his imprisonment by Weapon X that he has adamantium forcibly fused onto his bones. James and Heather Hudson help him recover his humanity, and Logan begins work as an intelligence operative for the Canadian government’s Department H. He becomes Wolverine, one of Canada’s first superheroes. In his first mission, he is dispatched to stop the destruction caused by a brawl between the Hulk and the Wendigo.

North Korea launches ballistic missile at North America

After doing some bad methamphetamine, Kim Jong Un and his brown nosing generals decide to hit the U.S. with their new long-range missile the KN-08. The intended target was either Los Angeles or San Francisco according to RAND Corporation analysts.

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The missile guidance system fails, as predicted by Stephen Colbert, and lands a thousand miles to the north. The missile and its nuclear warhead land in southern Alberta, Canada. Barley missing blowing up a herd of 10,000 black Angus cattle.

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It is time Canada gets on board with the U.S. anti-ballistic missile defense system.

 

Trump incites 35,000 Boy Scouts to Chant “Lock Her Up, Lock Her Up”

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‘The Donald’ attended the national Boy Scouts jamboree last week. Forgetting to be non-partisan in front of the mostly under 18 crowd, Trump immediately started ranting political diatribes. He vented vulgar obscenities towards political opponents and even some of his own white house staff members. The disgusting spectacle ended with Trump leading a hostile chant “lock her up, lock her up”. The chant was in reference to Hillary Clinton being prosecuted for her deletion of secretary of state emails. The young boy scouts got so frenzied with the primal chant that riot police had to be brought in.

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Shark Week in The Peg

How the devils of the deep made it to Winnipeg is a great mystery. The nearest saltwater is a thousand miles away. Space Aliens dropped them in maybe? A Sharknado?

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Water Taxi in great peril. A megalodon giant shark is about to eat it, including driver and tourists.

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Another great white killer having an early lunch.

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Where is Faron Hall – the Homeless Hero – when you need him? He rescued people from the rivers.

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The River Walks are not even safe.

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Trump Deports Cesar Millan

The “Dog Whisperer” Cesar Millan has been deported back to Mexico by President Donald Trump. Trump used an obscure presidential order to have the dog psychologist forcibly removed from U.S. soil. It all started when Trump became aware of a Cesar tweet where he wrote “I have a pooch in my kennel that completely resembles ‘The Donald’.” Cesar thought it was funny, not so Trump.

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The Trump look-a-like pooch.

Trump immediately called in Attorney General Jeff Sessions to figure a way to kick Millan out of the country. They used an unknown law where if the president deems somebody as potentially hostile to his person, he can throw them out.

Photo of Trump taken right after he read the Millan tweet.

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Trump was quoted as saying: ” I want that greasy whisperer out now. I’ve always hated that little Mexican. He comes to this country and makes millions of dollars by brainwashing stupid and vulnerable dogs. He’s a fraud, he is bad, he is an awful person. Get him the f#@k out!!”

Cesar with his pack south of Tijuana after he was ungraciously deported by a Marine helicopter.

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Cesar’s lawyers could not be reached for comment at press time.

Meanwhile back in D.C. Former WH press secretary Sean Spicer was spotted peeping into the White House from the rose garden.

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Donald Trump Stars In Classic Horror Movie Scenes

Talented creatives from DesignCrowd’s global community have designed a series of scary mock-ups featuring US presidential candidate Donald Trump.

The idea was sparked by am image doing the rounds on the internet which showed the crude and rude President in Jack Nicholson’s role in The Shining.

The DesignCrowd.com contest generated fantastic Photoshop artworks, which morphed Trump into scenes from horror movies such as Scream, An American Werewolf in London, Silence of the Lambs, and Alien.

 

Here’s Donald

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The Shinning Twins

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Hannibal the Dealmaker

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Freddy

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This is just horrid!

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Scream

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The Beast of the East

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Didn’t last long as an Exorcist, not enough money to be made.

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As the bodiless droid in Alien

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More Alien

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