A Tale of Two Paintings

That Painting of Trump Having a Diet Coke With Abraham Lincoln Is Now Hanging in the White House

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The title of the painting is the Republican Club.

I think the Trumpster would be more comfortable to have a diet coke with these strong man leaders below. Men who take total control and rule with iron fists. Just like Trump would like to be.

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Kavanaugh CNN Name Tally

Markozen in collaboration with the MidTown Plaza News Bulletin has counted the times CNN has said the name Brett Kavanaugh. Yesterday the count was 1,988. A rough extrapolation from the previous 2 weeks puts the approximate times the name was uttered on CNN at 65,891 times. Please CNN, stop!!

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Trump actually cracked a funny joke and showed a rare tinge of modesty at press conference yesterday

Trump said everyone has skeletons in their closet — except the vice president.

“There are bad reports on everybody in here, most of the people sitting down here — except for Mike Pence, by the way,” he said, to laughter. “And if we find one on him, then I’m … that’s going to be it, that’ll be the greatest shock of all time.”

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Trump speaking in the White House Rose Garden on October 1, 2018.

Trump pointed out he doesn’t drink — and acknowledged that if he did, he would be the “world’s worst”
There have been questions about whether Kavanaugh lied about his drinking while in high school and college. He has said he didn’t drink heavily while he was young, but others who knew him have refuted that claim.

A reporter asked Trump whether he would pull Kavanaugh’s nomination if he lied about his drinking. Trump responded by talking about the fact that he doesn’t drink.

“I don’t think [Kavanaugh lied],” Trump said. “I’m not a drinker. I can honestly say I’ve never had a beer in my life. It’s one of my only good traits. I don’t drink.”

In a brief moment of self-awareness, he acknowledged that alcohol would likely make his already volatile nature worse: “Can you imagine if I had? What a mess I would be? I would be the world’s worst,” he said.

Still has that “Great Wall’ in the back of his mind.

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Below: in another dimension where the “Donald” became a belligerent mean-spirited alcoholic.

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But isn’t he already belligerent and mean-spirited?

Tamed and Articulate Bigfoot Stars in Political Ad

In an amusing combination of the paranormal and politics, a Congressional candidate in Minnesota has released a rather clever commercial that stars Bigfoot. Produced by the campaign of Democrat Dean Phillips, the odd ad takes aim at his opponent, GOP incumbent Erik Paulsen, in the race for Minnesota’s 3rd Congressional District seat. Arguing that his Republican adversary has been particularly elusive when it comes to meeting with constituents, the commercial enlists the legendary cryptid known for being ‘hard to find’ in an ingenious way of making that point to viewers at home.

The ad begins with Bigfoot musing that “I thought I was good at hiding … then Erik Paulsen comes along.” In a nod to the decades-long search for Sasquatch, the creature subsequently marvels “how can you have tens of thousands of people looking for you all the time and not one of them find you?” Puzzled by Paulsen’s purported ‘ability’ to go unseen, the Bigfoot then sets out on a mission to prove that the politician actually exists.

What follows is a wildly funny twist on the reality show staple of ‘Bigfoot hunting’ with the Sasquatch lurking in the lobby of a pharmaceutical company and hoping to capture the ‘mythical’ Paulsen on film. As if to confirm Phillips’ charge that his opponent is indebted to big business donors, the creature celebrates when his stakeout at the corporation takes only seven minutes rather than the weeks that he had expected. The commercial culminates with the candidate being ‘captured on film’ and the stupefied Sasquatch declaring “Erik Paulsen really exists.”

We’ll leave it up to the pundits in Minnesota to parse out the legitimacy of Phillips’ critique of his opponent. That said, there should be little debate that, as far as political ads go, the commercial is a surefire winner since it’s hard to forget a testimonial coming from Sasquatch. Whether the famed cryptid can bring the voters out to the polls in November, though, remains to be seen.

Trump Goes To Walmart

President Donald Trump made a pit stop yesterday. On his way to a rally in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, Trump heeded the bright idea of his advisers and decided to check out a Walmart in Posumneck, Mississippi.  The reasoning behind the Walmart visit was a kill two birds with one stone brainstorm. Trump could mingle with his rabid base, who are frequent visitors to the discount retail giant, at the same time he could check out for himself that photo I.D. cards are not needed to buy groceries.

Earlier in the week at another hate filled rally in Florida, Trump incorrectly said that people need photo I.D. to buy groceries. He was out to left field on that one, but then again when was the last time Trump ventured into a grocery store?

Trump appeared to be in merry spirits as he walked around the Walmart in Posumneck. He was cheered and celebrated by the customers who had the ability to realize he was there.

Leroy Laflange, the guy wearing the light blue slip, pink hat and striped stockings, was quoted as saying: ” I am sure this gorgeous president will eventually lock up Hillary, and then he can send Obama back to Africa where he was born. And get this on the record you fake news reporter, make America great again, and F**k Canada”.

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Below: Billy Bob, on the left, and Billy Ray on the right with the protruding pot belly wearing the wool smock, both stated that Trump could mow down school children with a machine gun in downtown Tallahassee and they would still support him. We love everything that man stands for. Especially his truth that people should not believe anything on TV news, magazines, newspapers, or any online current events information. In unison both shoppers stated they believe absolutely nothing, unless it comes out of Trump’s mouth.

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Trump mingled with the faithful.

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Above: a reporter’s super sensitive microphone picked up Trump muttering something as he walked past Bucephelus Buck, the guy in the thongs and super short shorts, Trump said: “I have never seen so many retarded slobs in one place at one time in my life, where do these people get their fashion sense, in a pig sty? But what the hell, they love me, always smiling broadly with their toothless mugs. I love the degenerate bastards, I could wipe out a convent full of nuns with a rocket launcher and they would still vote for me the ignorant sombitches”.

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Above: Trump bragged that if it wasn’t for his tax cuts JesseBelle Coon, the fat ass riding down the aisle, would not have been able to afford the reinforced turbo powered mobility scooter. The tax cuts allowed the manufacturer to lower the cost.

Trump was heard mumbling something under his breath to the effect that the fat pig on the scooter should be sent to a zoo or better yet, put down.

All in all great visit to Walmart by the Trumpster. Donald was last seen leaving the store with four cans of discount tan spray with his photo I.D. attached to his lapel.

Donald Trump’s Walk of Fame star destroyed in Hollywood

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A suspect has been arrested after the president’s star, the target of previous attacks, was demolished with a pickaxe.

Donald Trump’s star on the Walk of Fame in Hollywood has been destroyed.

According to the Los Angeles Times, the LAPD received a call from the man who allegedly took a pickaxe to the president’s spot on the strip in Los Angeles. Reports claim the suspect arrived with a guitar case before taking out the implement to destroy the star.

While he had fled the scene by the time officers arrived, he has since turned himself in and remains in police custody. A source claimed he would probably be charged with felony vandalism.

While there is private security in the area, they struggled to intervene as they do not possess the same powers as law enforcement officers.

It’s not the first time the star has been the target of an attack, with multiple incidents of vandalism. In 2016, James Lambert Otis, 53, was recorded using a jackhammer and a pick.axe to remove Trump’s name. He said he was motivated by the infamous Access Hollywood video in which the future president used lewd terminology to describe infidelity.

Otis was sentenced to three years’ probation, 20 days of community service and paid $4,400 for the damage.

The star has also been the subject of protest art, with a wall erected around it in 2016 to symbolize the president’s policy on immigration.

The strip in Hollywood features multiple stars dedicated to celebrities, with 2018 honorees including Jeff Goldblum, Jack Black, Kirsten Dunst and Zoe Saldana. Recipients are selected by a committee that considers applications throughout the year and stars are purchased for $30,000.

A quick fix was promptly carried out.

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Some comedy group brought in Russian Cossack guards to protect the sort of fixed star.

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As a side note. Trump is in a major trade war with China. But it didn’t stop him from getting Trump 2020 flags made in the communist nation.

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Trump always liked using cheap labor.