I can’t recall ever seeing such bold use of patterns—entirely excessive, but somehow it works. These images come from the 2019 calendar for Splash, a Dubai-based company reputed to be “the Middle East’s largest fashion retailer.” The meticulously conceived pics are the work of Tejal Patni, an Indian photographer and filmmaker who works out of Dubai. He’s done the last four calendars for Splash, but this last one is on a whole new level.
Donald Trumpster with his 1970’s cut and and Brit PM Boris Johnson with his unruly nest.
When UFOs fly over a farm, it always seems that the first thing they do is to beam up the farmer’s cows with their Tractor Beam. Alien abduction accounts being what they are, you’d think they’d be more interested in the farmer, but where else would you test a tractor beam but on a farm?
The entry portal has to be quite large for a 900 pound bovine to make it through.
What do they want with the cattle? They like the taste of beef or cow milk?
Do they probe the cows cavities and orifices? If so, do they use an anesthetic?
The rest of the herd here looks totally oblivious to the tractor beam abduction. Wouldn’t they be spooked?
The other cows just continue grazing, as if nothing is happening. Could it be that the other cows are being communicated to telepathically by the Aliens to Stay Calm and Carry On?
Those cows will not be going up that chute without being nudged along by an electric cattle prod. This race of Space Aliens obviously haven’t figured out how to build a tractor beam.
Not only has this race of Aliens figured out how to build a tractor beam, they have mastered the art of camouflage.
Here the Alien has left the UFO. It appears to be beating on the unsuspecting bovine! This Alien is looking to get a good kicking.
Another milking dairy cow. Why the persistent interest in cows that need to be milked by suction devices?
This cow looks pissed. The Aliens better be prepared for some agitation up in the spacecraft.
The Aliens obviously didn’t perform proper reconnaissance on this bovine. The poor thing is chained to the ground! Great way to test the strength of the tractor beam.
It is not always a sad ending. Not all the cows are mutilated and have their sexual organs, eyeballs and brains removed. Some are returned to their relieved and exhilarated farmers.
Ultimately, why, why? Are those dirty little Gray Aliens into bovine bestiality? Or could it be honest to goodness veterinarian research. If only the NSA and CIA would disclose the truth! They know, oh yes they do! They listen in to everything. They have operators hiding in those corn fields and paddy saturated pastures pointing intercept signals dishes at the whole damn situation. Why won’t they tell us what the hell is going on?!!
Farmer giving a milking demonstration inside the Alien spacecraft.
A Lovecraftian poster for an odd 1960s mermaid thriller starring Dennis Hopper with a freaky cameo appearance by Marjorie Cameron, the bohemian witch of Los Angeles.
This is a sampling from a private collection of rare, massive 40” x 60” posters that were printed on cardstock for drive-In movie theaters.
An American distributor purchased a historical film and repackaged it as a Nazisploitation thrill; the fact that the movie was years old at this point was sold to the audience as the film having been “censored until now!”
A towel-clad Brigitte Bardot stuns in this incredible 1961 Pop Art poster.
A giant poster advertising a 1966 Hammer double-feature where theatregoers would get their own Rasputin beard!
After stabbing her mother’s boyfriend, a teenager escapes from reform school amid a barrage of attempted rape and lesbianism.
A psychedelic graphic for a 1971 camp film marketed as druggy horror to capitalize on the Charles Manson trials.
This 1963 poster lured theater goers over to listen to the whispering of a rocky-skinned slime monster.
Vincent Price narrates this “travel documentary” exploring bizarre cultural practices.
Hammer horror classic with the busty Ingrid Pitt as Carmilla, the original prototype of the lesbian vampire.
An Italian dramatic film released in the United States with a decidedly sexy marketing campaign.
Mario Bava directed this 1964 film that created the template for the “body count” slasher films of the 1980s.
In 1967, the first Argentinian vampire film offers viewers a unique experience called “Erotomania!”
The dismembered hand of an astronaut possessed by an evil alien intelligence goes on a killing spree. Luckily a hungry cat saves everyone at the end. Burt Reynolds screen tested twice for this film and was turned down both times.
Deranged: The confessions of a Necrophile is loosely based on serial killer Ed Gein and features a man using corpses for various aspects of home décor.
H.P. Lovecraft presented with the patina of 1960s cinema.
A hallucinogen-paranoid tale of espionage and psychedelic “acting.”