Hinterland Who’s Who: the Manitoba Riverine Amphibious Humanoid Beastie

Hinterland Who’s Who is a federally funded educational wildlife agency.

Today’s featured creature on Hinterland Who’s Who is the Manitoba Riverine Amphibious Humanoid Beastie otherwise known as the (Green Gill-man).  The creature is seen by many witnesses and has been observed by paranormal nature biologists working for Hinterland Who’s Who.  The biologists estimate the creature to stand at least 8 feet tall and weigh somewhere in the neighborhood of 350- 500 pounds. The beasts’ diet seems to consist of tree leaves and other riverine plants, small mammals such as squirrels and cats, the odd dog and periodically a cow.  Farmers along the Red and Assiniboine Rivers have reported lost cows, only to find the skeleton of the cow a few days later.  The cows have been eaten completely, no flesh is found. Some think it could be space aliens, but Hinterland Who’s Who is sure the culprits are the Green Gill-man.

Mainstream science doesn’t touch the subject of the Green Gill-man, they want a body, as the mainstreamers profess they need actual physical evidence.  The sightings, photos, video and webbed footprints just aren’t enough for these obstinate skeptics. Maybe a body will surface one of these days, but let’s not hold our breath.

The sightings and reports go back hundreds of years to pre European contact in Manitoba.  The Cree Indian tribes had a name for the Gill-man, “Shushtanuckawucktoodeepwa,” which literally translates into “big green varmint that swims like fish but walks on the land and will attack our women.”  The Shushtanuckawucktoodeepwa is deeply ingrained in Native legend and stories.  One story is about the Gill-man having a major tussle with a Sasquatch.  The battle was observed near Pukatawagan in the 1920’s.  The beasts were laying heavy punches on each other until they all of a sudden stopped, shook hands and walked off in different directions.

Recent photos of the creature in the Assiniboine River in Winnipeg

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It appears obvious that this thing doesn’t hibernate. How it survives Manitoba’s winter is anybody’s guess.

Another brute enjoying a dip near the Midtown Bridge..

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Damn that must be cold!

The creature’s habitat seems to go beyond the river systems. Sightings have been reported on the big lakes north of Winnipeg.  Gill-man has also been sighted deep inland, miles from any water.  They are usually sighted near cow pastures.  And immediately after the pasture sightings, a farmer reports a missing cow.  Dinner time for the green water goblin?

Here is a sighting at Patricia Beach on the south end of Lake Winnipeg.

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The photo was taken very close to the section of the beach that is reserved for nude beachgoers. The Green gill-man seems to have an interest in female humans.  Not sure why.

The famous Grand Beach Photo.  Taken 2 years ago by ghost hunter Mel Ryan. Mel was quoted as saying: “No ghosts this time, but sovanabitch this big green thing was even better than a ghost.  I wonder, when the gill-man dies, does it manifest into a gill-man ghost? Now that would be 2 birds with one stone my man.”

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It appears to be stalking something.  Female human?

If anybody out there has reports, photos or video of the Manitoba Riverine Amphibious Humanoid Beastie please forward them to Hinterland Who’s Who, PO Box 2300, Ottawa, Ontario, Q4J 1X9. Email: HWW@JustinTrudeau.com.

For the record: Prime Minister Justin Trudeau just announced that he will be increasing the HWW budget ten-fold over the next few months. Yaha!

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