Most of these records generally fall into two categories: titles about someone being touched and titles about someone coming, in one instance “quarts of love.”
Usually, the naïve graphics on the covers sell the unintentional jokes.
Below are some of my favorites.
Uncle “D”
If you have a high tolerance for pain, give this video a listen:
Dangerous Minds
Exotic animals and drinks. Now this sounds like the perfect combination.
The Assiniboine Park Zoo hopes to be fully licensed soon.
Zoo official Laura Curtis says the Winnipeg attraction applied for a liquor licence for the entire grounds and hopes to have the new rules in place by the summer.
Curtis said the application is an effort to make it easier to host the many private events held at the zoo, which include weddings, receptions and private dinners.
When certain patrons get too looped, lets hope they stay on the paths.
Oh oh, two intoxicants stumbled into the polar bear enclosure. Hudson the bear is moving in to check them out.
The Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has, for the first time, made their archive of approximately 10,000 nuclear testing videos available online.
The founder of K-Tel died today in Winnipeg. Phil Kives started the company selling anything and everything. His big breakthrough was a non-stick frying pan. And this was just the beginning. In the 70’s and 80’s K-Tel sold everything from the pocket fisherman to the vegie-matic, the miracle brush to bionic glue. Any crazy and obscure product he could find out there, Phil would offer it to the world via TV advertising.
But K-Tel didn’t have all the crazy products. The list below has some products even more bizarre than K-Tel’s most outrageous contraptions.
The weight of one massive jug on top of the other has been plaguing big-breasted side sleepers for ages. Or so the makers of this item claim.
Contain your lunch and expose your OCD.
The Better Marriage Blanket
Protect yourself from deadly farts with “the same fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons.”
The Backup
A bedside gun rack so you can shoot an intruder without hesitating long enough to notice it’s just your girlfriend.
FIR-Real Portable Sauna
Leave a little bit of your ball sweat every place you visit with this traveling torture chamber.
This product for the prostate challenged was recently included in a Father’s Day Gift Guide … written by the worst son ever.
Gangnam Style Singing Toothbrush
Hear this maddening tune two times a day for two minutes straight and try not to kill yourself. It’s like Fear Factor.
The Tush Turner
A lazy Suzan for your fat ass that’s guaranteed to make it even fatter.
The UroClub
Douse your friends in urine when you accidentally swing this pee-filled tube instead of your three iron.
The Fat Magnet
Suck the grease—and fun—out of every meal.
Hand Fitness Trainer
Type so hard you break the goddamn keys!
Bigfoot Garden Yeti
A sculpture that ensures a neighbor will never come knocking.
Organic Woombie Baby Swaddle
Finally, a newborn straitjacket!
Cityplace manager Lee Tai Twan said even though there really hasn’t been an increase in security concerns, we can’t be too careful. We must be ahead of the thugs at every step. The new guards will deter any nefarious actions by the street derelicts he added.
Charges for Russian after stunts atop Toronto skyscraper
CBC
There was a time when Hudson’s anxiety would mean no one in the family could be in the same room as him. Now he’s calmer thanks to being treated with medical marijuana.
Rebecca Hass says the only thing that’s helped her aging canine is cannabis, but that doesn’t mean it’s pot for pets.
Hudson is a 14-year-old Portuguese water dog — he’s in his late 90s in human years. As he’s gotten older, Hass says Hudson has been in increasing distress, whining and yipping every day, often for hours on end.
And if Hass and her family go out, Hudson’s anxiety grows even more.
“We’ve had separation issues that have accelerated to the point that we can’t go away anymore. I think we’re pretty much … married to Hudson now ’til the bitter end.”
There seemed to be nothing physically wrong with Hudson: he was eating well and going for walks and Hass thought he may have anxiety caused by dementia — in dogs it’s called cognitive dysfunction.
“When we talked to a vet they supported that idea, especially since his yipping at that point was really getting worse after 4 p.m., sort of the witching hour apparently.”
Hass says mornings weren’t so bad but “by supper we really couldn’t bear to be in the same room as him.”
One vet told Hass it was cognitive disorder, but there was no real treatment for dogs and they would just have to unfortunately live with it.
But for Hass that wasn’t an option.
After trying some treatments which made no difference, Hass learned that some people were turning to hemp to try and help treat their dogs, and she gave it a shot.
She notes that marijuana is extremely dangerous for pets — so it’s not about sharing the marijuana a human would buy. There’s a big difference between marijuana and hemp that’s rich in a chemical called cannabidiol or CBD — which she claims offers the medicinal benefits without psychotropic effects, though it can be deadly if used improperly.
Hass says Hudson is now calmer: he sleeps better, he’s more mobile, he plays again, and he’s no longer licking obsessively.
“I know it doesn’t work for everyone but it has really changed our life with our dog,” Hass is happy to say.
Hudson getting his treatment
“We feel like we have our dog back.
“I just couldn’t ignore this dog that I can’t seem to comfort,” she tells Tremonti.
Where could this go?
The MarkoZen Blog 