The founder of K-Tel died today in Winnipeg. Phil Kives started the company selling anything and everything. His big breakthrough was a non-stick frying pan. And this was just the beginning. In the 70’s and 80’s K-Tel sold everything from the pocket fisherman to the vegie-matic, the miracle brush to bionic glue. Any crazy and obscure product he could find out there, Phil would offer it to the world via TV advertising.
But K-Tel didn’t have all the crazy products. The list below has some products even more bizarre than K-Tel’s most outrageous contraptions.
The weight of one massive jug on top of the other has been plaguing big-breasted side sleepers for ages. Or so the makers of this item claim.
Contain your lunch and expose your OCD.
The Better Marriage Blanket
Protect yourself from deadly farts with “the same fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons.”
A bedside gun rack so you can shoot an intruder without hesitating long enough to notice it’s just your girlfriend.
FIR-Real Portable Sauna
Leave a little bit of your ball sweat every place you visit with this traveling torture chamber.
The GoPilot Portable Urinal
This product for the prostate challenged was recently included in a Father’s Day Gift Guide … written by the worst son ever.
Gangnam Style Singing Toothbrush
Hear this maddening tune two times a day for two minutes straight and try not to kill yourself. It’s like Fear Factor.
The Tush Turner
A lazy Suzan for your fat ass that’s guaranteed to make it even fatter.
Douse your friends in urine when you accidentally swing this pee-filled tube instead of your three iron.
The Fat Magnet
Suck the grease—and fun—out of every meal.
Hand Fitness Trainer
Type so hard you break the goddamn keys!
Bigfoot Garden Yeti
A sculpture that ensures a neighbor will never come knocking.
Organic Woombie Baby Swaddle
Finally, a newborn straitjacket!