Donald Trumpster with his 1970’s cut and and Brit PM Boris Johnson with his unruly nest.
Year: 2019
What do Space Aliens want with our Cows?
When UFOs fly over a farm, it always seems that the first thing they do is to beam up the farmer’s cows with their Tractor Beam. Alien abduction accounts being what they are, you’d think they’d be more interested in the farmer, but where else would you test a tractor beam but on a farm?
The entry portal has to be quite large for a 900 pound bovine to make it through.
What do they want with the cattle? They like the taste of beef or cow milk?
Do they probe the cows cavities and orifices? If so, do they use an anesthetic?
The rest of the herd here looks totally oblivious to the tractor beam abduction. Wouldn’t they be spooked?
The other cows just continue grazing, as if nothing is happening. Could it be that the other cows are being communicated to telepathically by the Aliens to Stay Calm and Carry On?
Those cows will not be going up that chute without being nudged along by an electric cattle prod. This race of Space Aliens obviously haven’t figured out how to build a tractor beam.
Not only has this race of Aliens figured out how to build a tractor beam, they have mastered the art of camouflage.
Here the Alien has left the UFO. It appears to be beating on the unsuspecting bovine! This Alien is looking to get a good kicking.
Another milking dairy cow. Why the persistent interest in cows that need to be milked by suction devices?
This cow looks pissed. The Aliens better be prepared for some agitation up in the spacecraft.
The Aliens obviously didn’t perform proper reconnaissance on this bovine. The poor thing is chained to the ground! Great way to test the strength of the tractor beam.
It is not always a sad ending. Not all the cows are mutilated and have their sexual organs, eyeballs and brains removed. Some are returned to their relieved and exhilarated farmers.
Ultimately, why, why? Are those dirty little Gray Aliens into bovine bestiality? Or could it be honest to goodness veterinarian research. If only the NSA and CIA would disclose the truth! They know, oh yes they do! They listen in to everything. They have operators hiding in those corn fields and paddy saturated pastures pointing intercept signals dishes at the whole damn situation. Why won’t they tell us what the hell is going on?!!
Farmer giving a milking demonstration inside the Alien spacecraft.
Beyond the Valley of the Lurid Exploitation Film Posters of the 50s, 60s & 70s
A Lovecraftian poster for an odd 1960s mermaid thriller starring Dennis Hopper with a freaky cameo appearance by Marjorie Cameron, the bohemian witch of Los Angeles.
This is a sampling from a private collection of rare, massive 40” x 60” posters that were printed on cardstock for drive-In movie theaters.
An American distributor purchased a historical film and repackaged it as a Nazisploitation thrill; the fact that the movie was years old at this point was sold to the audience as the film having been “censored until now!”
A towel-clad Brigitte Bardot stuns in this incredible 1961 Pop Art poster.
A giant poster advertising a 1966 Hammer double-feature where theatregoers would get their own Rasputin beard!
After stabbing her mother’s boyfriend, a teenager escapes from reform school amid a barrage of attempted rape and lesbianism.
A psychedelic graphic for a 1971 camp film marketed as druggy horror to capitalize on the Charles Manson trials.
This 1963 poster lured theater goers over to listen to the whispering of a rocky-skinned slime monster.
Vincent Price narrates this “travel documentary” exploring bizarre cultural practices.
Hammer horror classic with the busty Ingrid Pitt as Carmilla, the original prototype of the lesbian vampire.
An Italian dramatic film released in the United States with a decidedly sexy marketing campaign.
Mario Bava directed this 1964 film that created the template for the “body count” slasher films of the 1980s.
In 1967, the first Argentinian vampire film offers viewers a unique experience called “Erotomania!”
The dismembered hand of an astronaut possessed by an evil alien intelligence goes on a killing spree. Luckily a hungry cat saves everyone at the end. Burt Reynolds screen tested twice for this film and was turned down both times.
Deranged: The confessions of a Necrophile is loosely based on serial killer Ed Gein and features a man using corpses for various aspects of home décor.
H.P. Lovecraft presented with the patina of 1960s cinema.
A hallucinogen-paranoid tale of espionage and psychedelic “acting.”
Luscious Eyelashes Turn Cocker Spaniels into Social Media Sensations
Cocker Spaniels are known for having long, beautiful eyelashes, but canine pair Cloe and Nena’s lashes are unusually long even for their breed, and they’ve turned the two pooches into overnight Instagram sensations.
If there was such a thing as a canine beauty influencer, Cocker Spaniel twins Cloe and Nena would most certainly fit the bill perfectly. Not only do they sport luscious eyelashes measuring a whopping 6-cm-long, but they also appear to love getting groomed by their owner, 22-year-old Vittoria Di Castri, including having mascara applied on their lashes to highlight their main features. Some people have a hard time believing the two pooches’ eyelashes aren’t fake, but Di Castri insists they are all natural.
“Cloe and Nena’s eyelashes are 100 per cent natural and often I need to cut them, trim them and even comb them,” the 22-year-old Italian told Storytender. “I have seen Cloe’s growing up to six-centimetres-long. She has had them very long since she was born, while Nena started growing hers when she was around eight-months-old.”
While certainly surprising in size, Cloe and Nena’s eyelashes aren’t even close to setting a record for the world’s longest canine lashes – currently standing at 5.35 inches – but their natural affinity for modelling and the way they look into the camera with puppy eyes has made them very popular on photo-sharing sites like Instagram.
This Stuff Happens
Winnipeg
Mysterious Air Force Space Plane Finishes Record-Breaking Flight
A mysterious space plane belonging to the United States Air Force reportedly returned to Earth on Sunday following a record-breaking 780 days in orbit. Known as the X-37B Orbital Test Vehicle, the curious craft was launched via a Space X Falcon 9 booster back on September 7th, 2017. This particular flight was the fifth such mission for the space plane and, a few months ago, it smashed the previous endurance record for the vessel which stood at 718 days in orbit.
Resembling the iconic Space Shuttle, but measuring a mere 29 feet long, the solar-powered reusable craft has long been the subject of speculation since its mission and payloads are highly classified. Additionally, it’s origin as a project developed by NASA, but then taken over by DARPA before becoming the responsibility of the US Air Force has also spawned all manner of suggestions as to what its purpose might be. Some conspiracy theorists have posited that perhaps it is some kind of spy plane, while more fantastic researchers have put forward the idea that the X-27B is somehow connected to the UFO phenomenon.
Alas, an Air Force press release announcing the completion of the X-37B’s latest mission provided little in the way of solid answers and just enough vague hints to maintain the craft’s cryptic reputation. To that end, the statement declared that “this mission successfully hosted Air Force Research Laboratory experiments, among others, as well as providing a ride for small satellites.” What, exactly, was being done aboard the space plane as well as the nature of the satellites it deployed were unfortunately not revealed to the public. Be that as it may, it would seem that the return to Earth is merely a brief respite for the craft as it is set to be launched back into space next year for what one assumes will be another mysterious marathon mission.
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