Why are CNN political analysts falling asleep on the set?

Breaking News: in the last few days political pundits that appear on CNN  have been drifting off into dreamland as the cameras roll. No one is quite sure what is causing the live spontaneous napping, but a recent investigation was undertaken by CNN security staff, the results below.

The analysts begin to lose interest in the topic and start closing their eyes.




Even Don Lemon seemed to have very heavy eyelids




The guy on the left seems to be having a very pleasant dream


But not Anderson Cooper, even as his guests nod off he sits there like a stoic Roman statue.



Some guests, such as the ex-general above, even started snoring.


This young lady started talking in her sleep, she spewed out obscene expletives before Wolf Blitzer threw his water in her face.


Even Trump defenders, such as Kayleigh above, are not immune from the heavy veil of the sandman.

CNN security chief, Igor Vokovov (former Russian special forces colonel) has come to a conclusion on the cause of the sleep anomaly. He alleges that frequent CNN pro-Trump commentator Jeffrey Lord is involved.


Jeffrey Lord is a former member of the Ronald Reagan administration, author, and right-wing political strategist in Pennsylvania.

As the story goes: Lord is purported to be not only a Trump supporter and surrogate, but also a Trump saboteur. Lord was finally awarded for his efforts to reverse negative Trump ‘Fake News”, by being invited to Trump Tower to meet with Donald himself.


If I didn’t mention it earlier, Jeffrey has a very large head and very small hands.

Another strange twist to this tale, a few weeks ago trump invited Bill Cosby to his Florida mansion. Attempts were made to keep the encounter top secret. But an intrepid reporter from the National Enquirer somehow gained access and provided this information.


As the shamed comedian and the President played a round of golf, tidbits emerged that Donald was constantly asking Bill about the rape charges against him. More specifically he wanted to know what drugs Cosby used to knockout the women before he would have sex with their lifeless bodies. Bill was quoted as saying: “Quaaludes my man Mr. Donald, the ludes baby, the ludes”.  Trump purportedly was very pleased.

Reports are that Trump then had son-in-law Jared Kushner acquire Quaaludes from the New York Italian Mob and secretly provide them to Jeffrey Lord. Lord was constantly in CNN headquarters in New York City. He was about to sabotage the CNN water supply according to Igor Vokovov. Igor concludes that quaalude saturated drinking water in CNN facilities is responsible for the sudden sleepiness and passing out.

CNN has released a photo of Jeffrey Lord spiking a water cooler in CNN headquarters with some foreign substance, more than likely quaaludes.


CNN lawyers, headed by Alan Dershowitz, are putting together a case against Lord alleging malicious intent, sabotage, willing and feasible intent to harm and blatant pro-Trump propaganda. Lord is now under constant surveillance while on any CNN property.

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