Apu Quotes

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon (Bengali: আপু নাহাসাপিমাপেটিলন) is a fictional character in the animated TV series The Simpsons. He is the Indian immigrant proprietor of the Kwik-E-Mart, a popular convenience store in Springfield, and is best known for his catchphrase, “Thank you, come again.” He is voiced by Hank Azaria and first appeared in the episode “The Telltale Head”.

Since 2007, the character’s alleged stereotyping of Indians, and voicing by a non-Indian, have been the source of controversy.

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Oh my god! If a dead fish and a homeless person had a baby and the baby puked, and a dog ate the puke, this smells like the rear end of that dog!

Thank you, masked vigilante. Your over-zealous homicide has saved me 80 cents. Now if you’re not going to buy anything, please move along.

Homer: Your old meat made me sick.
Apu: I am so sorry, sir. Please accept five pounds of frozen shrimp.
Homer: These shrimp aren’t frozen, and they smell funny.
Apu: Okay, ten pounds.
Homer: Woohoo!

Thank you for coming. I’ll see you in Hell!

Apu: It may not be glamorous, but it’s good honest work.
Customer: How much is this quart of milk?
Apu: Twelve dollars.

Apu: I would like to see this money spent on more police officers. I have been shot eight times this year. As a result, I almost missed work.
Chief Wiggum: Cry-baby.

Apu: Poor Mister Homer. Could it be that my snack treats are responsible for his wretched health?
Customer: Give me some jerky.
Apu: Would you like some vodka with that?
Customer: Oh, what the hell, sure.

“This is not a lending library. Now, put the magazine down or I’ll blow your heads off!”

Meet The Man With The World’s Largest Collection of Coca-Cola Cans

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Davide Andreani first drank a Coke when he was six years old. A native of Pesaro, along the Adriatic coast of Italy, Davide doesn’t recall anything special about the beverage at first sip. His father would often travel for business and one of the things he would bring back to his son as a memento would be a special can of Coke. The first one in his collection was from Germany in 1979, featuring the word “Coca-Cola” translated from various languages in the world.

Davide has always been a collector at heart. When he was young, he would seek after unique coins and stamps. Now he is only interested in Coke cans. There isn’t a particular reason for the beverage choice, other than his passion for assemblage and that it is something he got into at an early age. Today, Davide’s collection consists of over 20,000 distinct cans of Coca-Cola.

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Digging through the garbage for empty cans is not how one develops a surplus like Davide’s. A lifetime of meticulous searching of the globe has brought him to where he is today. The assortment of cans on display in his collection are those that the Coca-Cola company had only released for a limited time, sometimes not available to the public. Unique cans are usually produced for commemorative purposes, such as the celebration of special events like sporting events, Christmas and other holidays, the opening of a new factory, or a presidential election. The rarest and most hard are those that are gold or silver in color, some worth upwards of $500.

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The internet has helped contribute to Davide’s growing soft drink collection. His website is used to display his individual findings and to communicate with others hoping to trade their rare collectibles. He has several duplicates (not included in the total count), which are used to swap with fellow collectors.

Someday, Davide hopes that his collection will be displayed in a museum. His modest home is where the cans live today, and it is not nearly big enough to showcase all of his findings. Approximately 5,000 cans line his walls and pile up on his floor, with another 15,000 or so catalogued and buried away in the garage. Thus far, the Coca-Cola company hasn’t had much interest in acquiring Davide’s tremendous collection.

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Davide received a Guinness World Record in August of 2013. The award title is “Largest Collection of Soft Drink Cans – Same Brand.” In order to distinguish the title, the GWR judge closed Davide’s home for two days to count every can. At the time of certification, the assortment totaled 10,558 unique Coca-Cola cans from 87 different countries. Davide’s collection, now much larger in size, still holds the Guinness World Record.

Other than his amusing hobby, Davide enjoys playing volleyball, tennis, and working with computers. His dream is to visit every country in the world (all while pursuing the rarest soda cans, I’d presume), but for financial reasons he is content with sightseeing via the World Wide Web. When asked whether he enjoys the taste of the soft drink that inspired his life’s work, Davide responded “I drink Coca-Cola very little.”

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Hold on to your hats. The World is suppose to end tomorrow!

End of the world on April 23?

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A slew of numerologists and other assorted nuts are predicting Monday, April 23 will be the day the world ends.

How the tin-hat brigade came to believe this day will be the end was quite a journey.

So far there are two theories: Planet X (honest) is going to slam into earth or it will be the second coming of Jesus Christ.

One of doyennes of the doomsday scenario is David Meade, however, he’s taking April 23 off the table. Think sometime between May and December is when we’ll be obliterated.

Meade — a prominent conspiracy enthusiast — is warning something called “Nibiru” is now among us.

 “The Book of Revelation states that men will approach Armageddon on horseback.

“Nibiru is here and the earth will be prepared for the next event on its calendar,” he told the Daily Express.

“That’s all in the Book of Revelation, too.”

And hopefully, you have your act together because Meade thinks the souls of the righteous will ascend to heaven. The unworthy? Well, it looks like “the pits of hell” for us.

But before the Rapture, look to seven lousy years of horror and suffering hammering the planet from one end to the other.

After that, the survivors are supposedly sailing because the Kingdom of Christ will apparently establish a 1,000-year-long reign of “peace and prosperity,” Meade claims.

“So the world isn’t ending anytime soon – in our lifetimes, anyway!” the prophet proclaimed.

Meade had previously predicted the earth would end on Sept. 23, 2017. That one was slated to be a Planet X hit job but it never materialized.

However, boffins are unconvinced.

Jonathan McDowell — an astronomer at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics — mocked Meade’s claims, calling them “a hoax.”

“I don’t know what to say except that it’s nonsense,” he told the Express. “Nibiru and other stories about wayward planets are an Internet hoax. There is no factual basis for these claims.”

This Rapture thing looks like fun.

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