Month: August 2017

North Korea launches ballistic missile at North America

Markozen.com Fake News, Geopolitics, Military

After doing some bad methamphetamine, Kim Jong Un and his brown nosing generals decide to hit the U.S. with their new long-range missile the KN-08. The intended target was either Los Angeles or San Francisco according to RAND Corporation analysts.

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The missile guidance system fails, as predicted by Stephen Colbert, and lands a thousand miles to the north. The missile and its nuclear warhead land in southern Alberta, Canada. Barley missing blowing up a herd of 10,000 black Angus cattle.

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It is time Canada gets on board with the U.S. anti-ballistic missile defense system.

 

David Lee Roth’s insane isolated vocals from Van Halen’s 1978 juggernaut, “Runnin’ With the Devil,” will make your eyes water with laughter

Markozen.com Funny, Music

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So first off, yeah, I know that David Lee Roth’s isolated vocals from Van Halen’s 1978 juggernaut, “Runnin’ With the Devil” have been making the rounds out on the Internet for a while. But perhaps what you didn’t know is that there is a site that allows you to download them in neat little MP3 files so you could, as I’d strongly suggest, use them as ring tones for your smart phone. So let’s all help make our smart phones great again by ditching those irritating pre-loaded ringtones and replacing them with Diamond Dave’s straight-up mythical war cry from the stoner teen anthem, “Aaahhh Haaa YEAHHH!”

The music included version:

The Shark Frenzy just keeps Going and Going

Markozen.com Animals, Movies

Shark Week on Discovery Channel sadly has ended. But it’s not over yet. Sharknado 5 is only days away.

Sharknado5Artwork

Getting back to reality, real shark attacks in the world.

A shark attack is an attack on a human by a shark. Every year over 70 attacks are reported worldwide. Despite their relative rarity, many people fear shark attacks after occasional serial attacks, such as the Jersey Shore shark attacks of 1916, and horror fiction and films such as the Jaws series. Out of more than 489 shark species, only three are responsible for a double-digit number of fatal, unprovoked attacks on humans: the great white, tiger, and bull. The oceanic whitetip has probably killed many more castaways, but these are not recorded in the statistics.

Confirmed Unprovoked Shark Attacks, 1580–2014
Region Total
Attacks		 Fatal
Attacks		 Last
Fatality
United States
(Excluding Hawaii)		 1104 35 2012
Australia 536 72 2017
Africa 346 94 2015
Asia 129 48 2000
Hawaii 137 10 2015
Pacific Islands / Oceania
(Excluding Hawaii)		 126 49 2016
South America 117 26 2015
Antilles and Bahamas 70 16 2013
Middle America 56 27 2011
Europe 52 27 1989
New Zealand 49 9 2013
Réunion Island 39 19 2017[3]
Unspecified / Open Ocean 21 7 1995
Bermuda 3 0 —
Total: 2,785 439 2017
Sources: Australian Shark Attack File for unprovoked attacks in Australia
International Shark Attack File for unprovoked attacks in all other regions
Last Updated: 19 February 2015