Is Bigfoot Possibly an Alien Entity?

Are Sasquatches related to Wookies? The possibilities are mind-boggling.

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Sasquatch having a crap at left, Wookie relaxing after a crap at right.

Rather than being a missing link between man and the apes, Bigfoot may possibly be an alien entity. This intriguing possibility is derived from evidence in several solid UFO cases.

The earliest clues date back to 1888, when a cattleman described an encounter with friendly Indians in Humboldt County, California. They led him to a cave where he saw a hefty humanoid creature covered in long, shiny black hair, with no neck, sitting cross-legged.

One Indian told him three of these “Crazy Bears” had been cast out of a small moon that dropped from the sky and landed.The “moon” then ascended back into the air. So it’s highly likely the “Crazy Bears” were really Bigfoots, and the “moon,” a spacecraft.

Now fast-forward almost 100 years to 1973… and Mrs. Reafa Heitfield. She and her 13-year-old son were sleeping in a trailer in Cincinnati, Ohio on the morning of October 21. Reafa arose at 2:30 a.m. to quench her thirst, and noticed strange lights in the adjoining parking lot. Looking out the window, her attention was drawn, in particular, to an inexplicable cone of light, shaped like a huge bubble umbrella — about seven feet in diameter.

Nearby she spotted a grayish, ape-like creature with a large, downward angled snout, no neck and a sizable waist. Moving slowly, it then entered into the light. About five minutes later, both apeman and UFO disappeared.

Another dramatic incident occurred a few days later on October 25, 1973. A group of farmers in Fayette County, Pennsylvania caught sight of a dome-shaped UFO that was brightly lit and about 100 feet in diameter. As the locals drove toward it, they saw a pair of gargantuan creatures covered with thick, matted hair, luminescent green eyes and long arms that dangled below their knees.

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A farmer’s son fired a gun shot at the creatures, one of which raised its right hand in the air. At that very moment, the UFO disappeared. Then, the two Bigfoots escaped into the woods and were never seen again.

Dairy farmer William Bosak of Frederic, Wisconsin was returning from a co-op meeting about 10:30 p.m. on December 9, 1974, when he nearly slammed into a globular UFO on the road in front of him, its bottom half enshrouded in fog.

Inside the visible transparent dome was a six-foot-tall ape-like creature with reddish-brown fur covering its body (except for the face) and distinctive pointed ears. It appeared to be operating a control panel. As Bosak passed by, the object suddenly arose and disappeared.

In August,1976, after a series of UFO sightings around Rutland, British Columbia, Canada, several men and their children saw a hairy ape-like entity, six to seven feet tall roaming about a mountainside. They also found a clump of hair that was sent to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police for identification. Laboratory analysis confirmed it was primate hair, but, significantly, it could not be matched to any known species on earth!

Perhaps the Bigfoot creatures are UFO pilots, landing on earth for exploratory purposes. Or, conceivably, higher level ETs are leaving behind some specimens as “guinea pigs” to test our environment for long-term survival. Or, possibly,these Bigfoots are criminal entities being deposited on Earth as a form of cosmic deportation!

A hybrid cyborg?

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Romulan hybrid?

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Somebody has to set up a big net out in the forest and get one of these sneaky critters!

Shark Week in The Peg

How the devils of the deep made it to Winnipeg is a great mystery. The nearest saltwater is a thousand miles away. Space Aliens dropped them in maybe? A Sharknado?

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Water Taxi in great peril. A megalodon giant shark is about to eat it, including driver and tourists.

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Another great white killer having an early lunch.

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Where is Faron Hall – the Homeless Hero – when you need him? He rescued people from the rivers.

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The River Walks are not even safe.

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On the Cover of the Rolling Stone

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has made it onto the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. And he did this without singing a single song.

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Oh, we’re big rock singers.
We got golden fingers.
And we’re loved everywhere we go.
We sing about beauty,
And we sing about truth
At ten thousand dollars a show.
We take all kinds of pills
To give us all kind of thrills,
But the thrill we’ve never known
Is the thrill that’ll getcha
When you get your picture
On the cover of the Rolling Stone.
Rolling Stone…
Wanna see my picture on the cover.
Stone…
Wanna buy five copies for my Mother.
Stone…
Wanna see my smiling face
On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

I got a freaky old lady
Named Cocaine Katy
Who embroiders all my jeans.
Got my poor old grey-haired daddy
Drivin’ my limousine.
It’s all designed to blow our minds,
But our minds won’t really get blown
Like the blow that’ll getcha
When you get your picture
On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

We gotta lotta little teenage blue-eyed groupies
Who do anything we say.
We got a genuine Indian guru
Who’s teaching us a better way.
We got all the friends that money can buy,
So we never have to be alone.
And we keep getting richer,
But we can’t get our picture
On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

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Justin being carried by his late father former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau.

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Three Little Pigs

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Little Boy Blue come and blow your horn
Sheep’s in the meadow, and the cow’s in the corn.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Say they love the way you play that thing.

The king’s slave is a busy man,
But he loves the sound of your rock ‘n’ roll band.
The sheeps get a rhythm, and the cows get the tune.
Ain’t nobody out, “Go, Little Blue!”

Three Little Pigs were going to the hop,
But the Big Bad Wolf wouldn’t let them stop.
Little Boy Blue played a crazy beat,
And knocked the Big Bad Wolf off his feet.

[Instrumental Interlude]

Little Boy Blue played a crazy sound.
The whole castle come a-rocking down.
Wise men, old men, Cinderella, too.
They all got together in the Ballroom ado.

Three Little Pigs were going to the hop,
But the Big Bad Wolf wouldn’t let them stop.
Little Boy Blue played a crazy beat,
And knocked the Big Bad Wolf off his feet.

Little Boy Blue made the whole town dance,
The swingin’est shepherd in all the land.
The Queen calls down, “Award him with a kiss.”
“Ah, your highness, ain’t nothing to this.”

Three Little Pigs were going to the hop,
But the Big Bad Wolf wouldn’t let them stop.
Little Boy Blue played a crazy beat,
And knocked the Big Bad Wolf off his feet.

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Animals that you probably never heard of

The Dhole

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The Dhole is a species of canid native to South and Southeast Asia.  The dhole is a highly social animal, living in large clans which occasionally split up into small packs to hunt.  It primarily preys on medium-sized ungulates, which it hunts by tiring them out in long chases, and kills by disemboweling them. Though fearful of humans, dhole packs are bold enough to attack large and dangerous animals such as wild boar, water buffalo, and even tigers.

The Babirusa

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Babirusa, meaning “Hog-deer”, are members of the pig family found in Wallacea, or specifically the Indonesian islands of Sulawesi, Togian, Sula and Buru.  If a babirusa does not grind its tusks (achievable through regular activity), they will eventually keep growing so as to penetrate the animal’s own skull.

The Fossa

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The fossa is a cat-like, carnivorous mammal that is endemic to Madagascar.  The fossa is the largest mammalian carnivore on the island of Madagascar and has been compared to a small cougar.   It has semi-retractable claws and flexible ankles that allow it to climb up and down trees head-first, and also support jumping from tree to tree.

The Gerenuk

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The gerenuk, also known as the Waller’s gazelle, is a long-necked species of antelope found in dry thorn bush scrub and desert in Eastern Africa. The word gerenuk comes from the Somali language, meaning “giraffe-necked”.  Gerenuks have a relatively small head for their body, but their eyes and ears are proportionately large.  Gerenuks seldom graze but browse on prickly bushes and trees, such as acacias. They can reach higher branches and twigs than other gazelles and antelope by standing erect on their rear legs and stretching their elongated necks.

Irrawaddy Dolphin

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The Irrawaddy dolphin is a species of oceanic dolphin found near sea coasts and in estuaries and rivers in parts of the Bay of Bengal and Southeast Asia.  Genetically, the Irrawaddy dolphin is closely related to the killer whale.

Markhor

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The markhor is a large species of wild goat that is found in northeastern Afghanistan and Pakistan.  The species is classed by the IUCN as Endangered, as there are fewer than 2,500 mature individuals.  The markhor is the national animal of Pakistan.  While chewing the cud, a foam-like substance comes out of its mouth which drops on the ground and dries. This foam-like substance is sought after by the local people, who believe it is useful in extracting snake poison from snake bitten wounds.

Southern Right Whale Dolphin

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The southern right whale dolphin is a small and slender species of mammal found in cool waters of the southern hemisphere.  They are fast active swimmers and have no visible teeth and no dorsal fin. They are very graceful and often move by leaping out of the water continuously.

Sunda Colugo

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Also known as The Sunda flying lemur, it is not actually a lemur and does not fly. Instead, it glides as it leaps among trees. It is strictly arboreal, is active at night, and feeds on soft plant parts such as young leaves, shoots, flowers, and fruits.  The Sunda Coluga can be found throughout Southeast Asia in Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia, and Singapore.

Lamprey

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Lampreys are a type of jawless fish that live mostly in coastal and fresh waters whose adults are characterized by a toothed, funnel-like sucking mouth.  They attach themselves to fish and suck their blood.  Lampreys have been around for nearly 300 millions years and their body structure has remained relatively unchanged.

Raccoon Dog

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The Raccoon Dog, or Tanuki, is a canid indigenous to East Asia.  The raccoon dog is named for its resemblance to the raccoon, to which it is not closely related.  They are very good climbers and regularly climb trees.

Zebra Duiker

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The zebra duiker is a small antelope found in Ivory Coast and other parts of Africa.  They have gold or red-brown coats with distinctive zebra-like stripes (hence the name)  Their prong-like horns are about 4.5 cm long in males, and half that in females.  They live in lowland rainforests and mostly eat leaves and fruit.

Star-Nosed Mole

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The star-nosed mole is a small mole found in wet low areas of eastern Canada and the northeastern United States. It is easily identified by the 11 pairs of pink fleshy appendages ringing its snout, which is used as a touch organ with more than 25,000 minute sensory receptors, known as Eimer’s organs, with which this hamster-sized mole feels its way around.

Now for some animals you have heard of:

Photogenic Gorilla

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Some type of deer species.

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Polar Bears feasting on dead whale

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Domesticated Sasquatch

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Really Bad Rock Band Names

If you think Nickelback, Smashing Pumpkins, Limp Bizkit and The Bare Naked Ladies are funny mindless band names, you haven’t heard anything yet.  The guys who thought up the names below must have been pouring through thesauruses while pumped up on a vodka cocaine mix.

The List in alphabetical order:

Abracadaver

Adickdid
Afrodiziac
Alcoholocaust
Anus the Menace
Baldilocks
Bassholes

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Blood Sledge Electric Death Chickens
Bondage A Go Go
BowWowWowHaus
Broadzilla
Bulimia Banquet
Cap’n Crunch and the Cereal Killers
Crappy the Clown and the Punch Drunk Monkies
Deepthroat Shotgun
Dick Duck and the Dorks
Disgruntled Postal Workers
Doris Daze
Dow Jones and the Industrials
Drunken Ugly Basement Brothers
Endangered Feces
Evil Beaver
Fat Welfare Moms On Dust
50 Naked Midgets
The Fred Mertz Experience
The French are from Hell
Frumious Bandersnatch
GangGreen
The Gaza Strippers
Duckbutter
Electric Al and the Poison Dart Frog McNuggets
Epileptic Disco
Ethyl Merman
The Fartz
Fearless Iranians From Hell
The Hostile Amish
Jehovah’s Witness Protection Program
Lesbian Dopeheads on Mopeds
Lubricated Goat
The Morning Shakes
Organic Condom Mazda Drugs
Porn on the Cob
Squirrel Nut Zippers

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Super Sonic Soul Pimps
Titty Bingo
UFOFU
Vomit Launch
The Whip-M-Out Girl’s
Willie Nelson Mandela
Zombies Under Stress
Zombina & The Skeletones

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Zorro and the Blue Footballs
Zsa Zsa
Zulu Leprechauns